on Grace & Resurrection ~

Once again, just as in my childhood, the day of Resurrection falls on my birthday & the Easter days leading up to it feel like a symbolic death. Decent into darkness like the mythological Persephone, rumbling undercurrents as earth shifts & opens to allow her rebirth. The Aries glyph, {a bud}, emerging from the soil.

Subconsciously I'm also aware I'll be turning 39 ~ the age my grandmother died ~ & in the reversal of the Persephone story, I still feel like Demeter looking for her daughter. {As Emily Dickinson wrote "I am out with the lanterns looking for myself."} How do I grieve a grandmother I never knew? How do I bring love when she's physically not ? In finding my grandmother, I find myself. In freeing her voice, I free my voice.

& for all my deaths I'm grateful to be a child of Spring, of new life, renewal, hope, flora, creation. Blessed that God reminds me at Easter that even in Jesus' darkness, when the cross is heavy, there can always be return to light. Maybe as I continue finding my own light I can bring light to my grandmother, because that what love is. That's what Jesus taught in his Resurrection. That love is greater than all.